Cute Avengers - Part Two

[Find Cute Avengers - Part One here]

Following Hulk's court adjournment, Hawkeye, Captain America and Thor make their way to the UK, with the intention of cleaning up the Avengers' reputation...



“I didn’t think it’d get this far!” Hawkeye admitted. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs with a thump on the desk and grinned.

“You need to stop it!” Captain America put on his best ‘Dad’ voice – as leader of the group, he often felt he was nothing more than a surrogate parent to squabbling children.

“Honestly, I’m not sure I can. Not now that Tony’s become involved. Besides, what’s the problem? It’s not like he can’t afford to pay the costs.”

“We really don’t need bad publicity like this. The entire world is watching. And you had to do it in England, too, where we really don’t have any reach.”

“He did really hurt my toe! And he broke a bow - snapped it in half!”

“Which Tony replaced that very afternoon, if I’m not wrong?”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Clint, you’re out of order. I’m going to have to go there and sort it out, and you're coming with me. You can tell whatever sharp-eyed lawyer you've got to just drop it all and smooth the whole thing over.”

“Barrister,” Hawkeye said with a smile.


“Lawyers. In England, they call them ‘solicitors’ and ‘barristers’. It’s so very refined, don’t you know?” His British accent was terrible.

“Fire up the jet, Clint.”

“Certainly, Boss!” Hawkeye jumped to attention with another smile and hurried out of the room. It was a good idea to go anyway – he wanted to see what a mess Banner was making of the courtroom.



“I believe I will accompany you,” Thor said with a level of surety that was beyond argument.


“I enjoy England; especially London - the beer is better.”

“We’re not going to London, the courtroom is in Wales.”

“A spiritual haven!”

“Really? I heard it's just constantly wet and windy.”

“As I said!” Thor laughed. “Besides, don’t tell me you want to be left on the Quinjet alone with Captain America for hours. I believe the lecture he'll administer might stretch for the entire flight-time.”

“Oh, you’re welcome to come,” said Hawkeye, “I didn’t suggest otherwise.”

“Then we will travel together, the three of us, and meet Stark and Banner at the other end. We should find a traditional Welsh pub and drink until the walls move!”

“Yeah, cos I think Hulk crashing through the Welsh countryside is going to do a lot to help the situation.”

“Ah yes! Perhaps you shouldn’t have initiated the court proceedings with quite as much gusto!”

“He smashed a bow,” Hawkeye said with a sigh, realising his argument may actually be the weaker one. “And he eats all my sandwiches.”

Thor laughed. “A good enough reason for incarceration! I believe I once threw Loki in a dungeon for the same transgression!”

“Shame it didn’t stick.”

“Between you and me, I’m not sure it was him that I took to the dungeon anyway. Could have been anyone or no one. You know Loki.”


Thor laughed again. “Shall we board? It won't do us the honour to be late.”



“Apparently Tony found something in their favour,” Hawkeye reported to his companions once he put down the phone.

“Which is?” asked the Captain.

“The main building Hulk smashed, the one which they were focussing on to show his general destructive nature, was a school that had a substantial quantity of asbestos in its structure from years ago. The demolition of the building has brought to light a whole new side case regarding asbestos poisoning.”

“How is that relevant? Surely Hulk can’t be excused for all his devastation because of it?”

“Not at all, but Cute Injury, the people I contacted in the first place, also represent victims of asbestos poisoning in claiming compensation from their employers – or previous employers. Tony is suggesting they drop the case on Hulk in favour of putting their resources in this more lucrative matter.”

“And that’s it?”

“Not entirely. They’re quite moral, and aren’t about to just let the case against Hulk go without the agreement of the people they represent.”

“Which is you – so just tell them to drop it.”

“Not just me; it’s a class action now. Hulk broke more than just my bow that day! I think it may have to play out.”

“You need to fix this, Clint, before it becomes world news.”

“Bit late…” Hawkeye pointed to the muted monitor that had been on in the background. It showed a BBC news reporter and a picture of the Hulk midway through one of his famous jumps.

“Great,” said Captain America with absolutely no hint of pleasure.

“Still on for beer then?!” laughed Thor.


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